The Trick To Not Falling In Love
by The twenty third of november
Summary: "The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day." The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.
1. Chapter 1

**The Trick To Not Falling In Love**

**Chapter 1**

_"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."_

The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.

* * *

He's Brilliant. Of course he is. The Doctor is the most brilliant man I've ever met in my life. I'd never admit that to his face though. He'd just give me a self-satisfied smug grin and tease me for the rest of the day. Something else I'd never admit to him, the day we met was definitely the best day of my life.

It was your average weekend morning and I was trying to work out how to connect my new laptop to the Maitland's wifi. I've never been very tech-savvy myself, but I accidently ended up calling the Doctor for help. I'd meant to call the broadband support team, but it seemed that I got the wrong number.

It's when he turned up on the Maitland's doorstep dressed as a monk that I knew he was quite extraordinary. Now that I think about it, he wouldn't leave me alone. The Doctor seemed fascinated by me, like I'd met him before. Of course, he ended up saving my life so I decided to tag along with him in his TARDIS from then on. He seemed to want me to, I couldn't really refuse. Not that I wanted to refuse.

It was as if within the first few weeks I knew the Doctor he automatically became my best friend. He was always so interested in me, so caring of me, so…protective. And I wouldn't admit this to the Doctor either…but I actually kind of liked it. I seemed to be the sun and his whole world revolved around me. A man has never treated me like that before, with such great importance. Okay, I admit it. I _loved_ it. Every adventure we had in those first few weeks made me always want to come back for more. So he'd come on Wednesday's…but often Thursdays too. Sometimes Mondays, quite a lot of Fridays and the odd weekend. So basically, most days of the week.

It was the most amazing feeling to suddenly have met someone that cared about you so much. We got on so well, constantly joking and teasing each other. He'd take me to a new planet or star, each time fuelled with excitement. And even though I knew he wouldn't ever admit this to me, I think he loved me tagging along and having someone to share the universe with. He loved my companionship.

It was the third week when everything started to go wrong from my perspective…or right. I just wished at that point it hadn't happened. That we could've continued travelling across the stars as just friends. But it was on the third week that I knew the Doctor it all began to change. I started to fall in love.

-x-

Vegas. He'd promised to take me to Vegas. "You've never been to Las Vegas?!" The Doctor had exclaimed. It was a Monday afternoon and we'd just returned from the beaches of Hoskatan.

"It's not that big a deal!" I'd replied. "My parents couldn't afford to take me to America when I was a child and now I'm a full time nanny. I don't get holidays!"

"Then we'll spend this evening in Las Vegas. I know a brilliant time period, 1983. You'll love it Clara, I know you will."

I'd grinned like an idiot when he said that. Everything he did, he did it to make me happy. What I hadn't realised then is that it made me feel all fuzzy inside. A little too fuzzy. I'd skipped to the TARDIS wardrobe and spent ages picking out the perfect dress. I finally found one that reached just over the knee and was made out of a silky egg blue material. It was gorgeous.

"Clara, are you done picking out a dress yet?" The Doctor had called. "I'm getting very bored!"

I'd chuckled. Patience had never been the Doctor's strong point. I'd quickly got changed into the dress and ran back into the console room and spun around. "So, chin boy, how do I look?"

The Doctor had been lying underneath the console fiddling with some wires. He'd been so surprised by the question that when he got up to look at me he whacked his head on one of the panels.

"Ouch!" He'd muttered before getting up on to his feet. He stared at me for what seemed like an eternity without saying anything.

"So, how do I look then?" I persisted to his annoyance.

"Um…you look…very um…blue."

I raised my eyebrows in amusement as I knew I'd made him feel uncomfortable. "I look…_blue_?"

He realised those choice of words had been a bad decision by the tone I put in my voice. "No! No…I mean you look…you look…nice."

To _my_ surprise my face fell and the Doctor noticed. "No, I mean, not nice…lovely Clara. You look absolutely lovely."

I'd blushed a bit, as I'd been expecting him to say 'shut up' instead of actually continuing with the sentence. I tried not to let it show as he flew the TARDIS to our new location. The Doctor then grabbed a funny pair of 80s sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on his face making me laugh. They were the complete contrast to his vintage style purple tweed jacket and bowtie.

The Doctor grabbed my hand and pulled me through the TARDIS doors only to be met by many screaming, soaking wet men in military uniforms and lots of jerking and crashing from around us. Of course, the Doctor hadn't managed to get us anywhere near Las Vegas. We were in the North Pole. To be precise, in a sinking soviet submarine in the North Pole.

-x-

I'll tell you about the moment on that particular day, when I became aware of my emotions. Skaldak had just left the submarine and we were safe. I'd been so frightened. I think on that day I had been more frightened than any other in my life so far. I didn't tell the Doctor but I knew he knew. I'd been shaking like a leaf during the whole thing and it wasn't just because I was drenched. But when the ice warrior left and we were safe I was overwhelmed with joy. I couldn't help myself, I didn't really think about it. I just threw my arms around his neck and didn't want to let go. It was that feeling of being so close to death that made my heart race.

I let him go eventually when I realised how uncomfortable and unexpected the Doctor had found the embrace. I just beamed and gazed into his eyes like an idiot. "Saved the world then?"

He was leaning against the wall trying to act casual. "Yeah."

"That's what we do."

"Yeah."

I realised I'd been looking into his eyes for too long now. We were just stood there staring at each other with big grins on our faces. But do you know what I found myself thinking about whilst looking into the Doctor's big, wise eyes? Not that I was happy to still be alive, but that I wondered what it would be like to reach up and kiss him right now. I finally broke the eye contact stunned at what I had just thought. I turned my back on him and walked over to the ladder in the submarine which took you up onto the deck outside.

_No. _I'd thought to myself. _No no no. This cannot be happening. I've finally found a friend that cares about me. A friend that whisks me away to see the stars. A friend who's over a thousand years old and an __**alien**__ for crying out loud! I am not falling for him. Oh, but how I would have loved to kiss him… No Clara! Stop thinking like this. Where did all of this come from? _But I knew where it had. Our teasing and joking was constant flirting. The way he touches my cheek and my heart flutters. The way I hug him and never want to let go. The compliments and the way he acted totally mesmerised by me. The way he makes me feel protected and loved. I almost had to slap myself. _No._ _He's just a friend and that's all he will ever be. He doesn't even think about you like that._

I got out onto the deck and he emerged from the ladder behind me. The Doctor walked over to me and gave one of his big infectious smiles. _Oh, he is brilliant… _I'd thought again. _But this can't ever be._ I wasn't going to let myself fall in love with someone who doesn't feel that way back. I wasn't going to act like a fool. I wasn't going to let this happen.

It was then I made a promise to myself. _Don't fall in love. _That was the plan_. _I know I've had my heart broken by bad boyfriends and high school crushes a handful of times before. But I knew if my heart was broken by the Doctor it would be a thousand times worse. I wasn't going to let it happen.

That's the trick,_ don't fall in love. _The trick to avoid a broken heart. I'd use it whenever I had to, whenever my guard fell down and my heart skipped a beat. Whenever his eyes locked onto mine, I promised myself I wouldn't fall in love.

But then again, when does anything in life ever go to plan?

* * *

*A/N: I know I only finished my other fanfic yesterday, but I got home from school and quickly wrote this idea up I'd been pondering on all day. Will only be a few chapters or so long. A bit angsty, a bit fluffy, very whouffle.

Review, favourite and follow for more! Please let me know what you think. Thankyou for reading, the next chapter will be up asap! x*


	2. Chapter 2

**The Trick To Not Falling In Love**

**Chapter 2**

_"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."_

The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.

* * *

It had haunted me a bit, what Emma had said when we went ghost hunting. It was about a week after the Russian submarine incident and the Doctor said there was a haunted house in 1974 which he just _had_ to check out. I'd been a bit sceptical, of all things. I don't believe in ghosts, never have done. But when we went there and I saw one for real, it was enough to put me off scary movies for a long time. However, it turned out to be a time traveller suck in a pocket universe which I guess makes it all a little less unnerving.

Anyway, back to my chat with Emma. She was the psychic who was assisting the ghost hunter and owner of the house, Alec. I'd been having some girl talk with her whilst the Doctor and Alec were off doing boring sciencey stuff…which is not really my forte.

I'd been pointing out to her how obvious it was that her and Alec fancied the pants of one another, but they were both too shy to make a move. There was obviously huge amounts of chemistry between them and I kind of found myself jealous that nobody ever looked at me the way Alec looked at Emma.

It was once I'd tried to convince her of this the conversation turned to me.

"So what about you and the Doctor?" Emma had asked.

I'd be lying if I said this question didn't play on my heart strings a bit. Because I knew this could never happen. He's an amazing timelord with a time machine and I'm just a boring human from Earth. He wouldn't ever see me like that in a million years, which is why I surprised myself when I answered with a, "Oh, I don't think so..."

_'Definitely not'_ should have been the answer to that question. _Not an indefinite I'm not sure. _Thinking over my own stupidity didn't last for long, as I was stunned when Emma answered with, "Good."

_Good? She was glad we weren't together? What would be so bad about us being together?_

"Sorry?" I found myself asking.

Her voice turned cold. "Don't trust him. There's a sliver of ice in his heart."

This had sent a shiver down my spine. _Don't trust him? Ice in his heart? _She was talking about the man I trusted with my life, the man that was over protective and would do anything to keep me safe…or so I thought. Coming from Emma, who by what the Doctor said was an extremely powerful psychic, this was obviously beginning to make me weary of him.

I'd been thinking about what she'd said the past few days, each night before I went to sleep. I laid there in my room on the TARDIS, tossing and turning trying to make sense of it all. You see, I'd decided not to go home for the next few days. I'd told the Doctor I wanted a few nights off from having the trauma of trying to get Angie and Artie into bed at a reasonable time and it would be nice to have a mini break. I tried to force myself to believe that this wasn't just an excuse to spend even more time with him, but I knew it was.

He'd answered with a comical "Your wish is my command." And made up a room for me next to his.

_No. _I decided. _She's wrong. The Doctor is a lovely, caring man. All he aims to do is save people's lives, there wouldn't be ice in his heart. There wouldn't be a reason not to trust him._

_Uh-oh, time to use that trick again._ I felt myself feeling all fuzzy inside as usual. This was a feeling I was beginning to feel far too often for my liking. _I must not fall in love. _

-x-

It was 2 days after the haunted house when I woke up in the TARDIS with a sudden jump. Before I'd gone to sleep that evening I'd been thinking all about what Emma said, but when I awoke I felt exhausted. Absolutely exhausted. I checked the TARDIS clocks to see that it was 10am. I'd been asleep for 12 hours…so why was I so shattered? I used my hands to lift myself up to a sitting position and was surprised when one of them felt extremely sore, like a burn. _Damn. _I'd thought._ I must have caught it on the oven when making a soufflé in the TARDIS kitchen yesterday. _I checked the palm of my hand for a red wound but nothing was there. The pain suddenly went away too…but I thought nothing of it.

Tired, so tired. I got out of bed and stretched but I could hardly keep my eyes open. _This was strange. _I decided, because the day before I'd spent the whole time lazing about the TARDIS making soufflés and reading in the library. Not exactly running down corridors from aliens.

I'd opened my door to go to the bathroom and have a shower when I instantly bumped into the Doctor. He looked flustered and embarrassed. _Wait…had been spying on me?_

"Oh, hello Clara…I was just…um…making sure you were okay. I was about to knock on your door when you came out. Lucky timing."

I gave him a funny look. "And why wouldn't I be okay? It's not like you have zombie creatures running around in here, is it?"

He'd looked at me nervously.

"Doctor, what is it?"

"Oh. Nothing, nothing."

"Have you been waiting out here for me to come out?"

"No…no! As I said, lucky timing."

I'd given him a sceptical look. "Okay then…I'm going for a shower now. But don't think you can come and wait outside the shower curtain for me, mister. There's such a thing as being too keen."

The Doctor blushed such a bright shade of crimson he was almost glowing. I always make little suggestive comments like that to tease him. Can you blame me? The reaction I get is always hilarious.

The Doctor became even more flustered. "What?! No…no! I wouldn't…I wasn't…I'm not…oh shut up!"

I'd laughed and walked away from him to the bathroom. It was just too easy.

Once I had finished my shower and gotten dressed, I'd walked into the console room with a towel over my shoulder to see the Doctor cleaning the TARDIS with a cloth. I walked around the console to where he was standing, but suddenly felt a wave of fatigue pass through me.

"I feel exhausted." I'd explained. "I feel..."

"We've had two days crammed into the space of one." He interrupted, playfully whipping my bum with his cloth. This made me giggle a little. _Wait, Clara, did you enjoy that?_

"Why would you say that?"

"I don't know. I say stuff. Ignore me."

I began to walk back over to the stairs where I'd emerged from, leaving him to finish his cleaning. I was about to go down when I heard the Doctor's voice. "Do you feel safe?"

I turned around to look at him. "Course."

"Give me a number out of ten." He continued. "Ten being woo hoo!...One being...augh!"

I sighed. This was a sign of the Doctor being over protective again. _Of course he cares about me, Emma. of course I can trust him._

However, this was a bit out of the blue. "You're being weird."

"I need to know if you feel safe. I need to know you're not afraid." The Doctor walked right up to me but I made no attempt to move back and give him space. In fact, I came forward. We were so close and I was looking into his eyes, then to his lips. "Of?"

"The future. Running away with a space man in a box. Anything can happen to you."

My lips turned up into a smile. _Anything? _"That's what I'm counting on."

We were still gazing into each other's eyes, which maybe we'd been doing a little too long. I'd been so close that all I could think about was_ 'I could reach up and kiss him right now'_. However, I suddenly snapped out of it and nodded towards the console to break the eye contact. "Push the button."

The Doctor grinned at me before running to his console to fly us to our new destination. I walked to my room and when I got there I fell back onto my bed. _Had I been flirting just then? Yes. Had I wanted to kiss him? Also, yes._

I'd groaned and rolled onto my front, burying my head into my pillow. The trick to not falling in love was proving to be a_ lot_ harder than I first thought.

* * *

*A/N: Sorry I made you guys wait so long for this chapter! It's a little short but I promise the next one will be longer and it should be up in the next couple of days!

Thank you so much for favourites, follows and reviews! I love the reviews so thankyou so much for taking the time to write them.

thanks for reading.*


	3. Chapter 3

**The Trick To Not Falling In Love**

**Chapter 3**

_"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."_

The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.

I'd skipped out of the TARDIS like I usually do when the Doctor drops me back after an adventure and called to him "Goodbye!" before walking into the Maitland's foyer.

I looked into the big mirror on the wall and tossed around my hair a bit. "The boss. Yup, that's me."

We'd just had a rather tiring day out in Victorian Yorkshire, where a woman called Mrs Gillyflower had frozen us in a place called Sweetville whilst trying to wipe out the human race. This had meant I'd spent a lot of time that day in a very uncomfortable Victorian dress, unconscious. And when I was conscious, I'd met the Doctor's slightly unusual friends. After what I'd seen so far, it couldn't exactly get much weirder, could it? One of them was a lizard woman called Vastra, another was her human wife Jenny and the other was a little butler guy that looked like a potato called Strax. From what I gathered he was pretty obsessed with destroying things.

We'd decided to sign up for Sweetville so we could investigate after a man had told us that crimson-coloured people were turning up dead in the lake. Of course, we didn't think that we'd get caught as fast as we did.

"Clara, we're going to have to be married." The Doctor had said as we waited in queue to get signed up.

My heart skipped a beat. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, she's not going to let in two singletons is she? No no, Mrs Gillyflower wants perfect families, so we'll need to pretend that we're married. Is that okay?"

I swallowed. "Why wouldn't that be okay? We're not going to be actually, properly married, right?"

"Right, yes. Come along then, Mrs Smith." He'd chimed, taking my arm. "The queues moving forwards."

And for the rest of the morning, we'd acted like that. Arm in arm, grinning at each other like an in-love young couple. And you know what? I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't enjoyed it. Because I did. But not a lot. Just a teeny-tiny bit. I was definitely not falling for him. It was just…nice.

After a long, tiring day of saving the world I was finally home, so I walked into the kitchen to see if Angie and Artie were about but they didn't seem to be around. Artie had left one of his toy transformers on the work surface and as I was alone I started playing with it.

"I am the boss." I said in a comical voice, making it move. The Doctor will never live that down, telling me I'm the boss. Big mistake, chin boy.

It was then something on Angie's laptop which was sitting on the dining table caught my eye. I straightened up and stared at it before walking over to the table and sitting down in front of the computer. Pictures of The Doctor and I filled the screen. On the soviet submarine, in the haunted house and many others. I started to panic. _Uh-oh, this can only mean that…_

"It's you, isn't it?" I heard the sound of Angie's voice come from behind me. "It's from the seventies, but it's definitely you." She came and stood beside me with her arms crossed looking at the picture taken in the haunted house. Artie then appeared on the other side of me joining his sister.

All I could do now was try and lie myself out of this one. "Course it's not."

"And that's you too." Artie said, clicking on the Soviet submarine photo. "1983, I found it at school."

_He found it at school? Does this mean children are studying photos of me for their history projects?! The Doctor is in big trouble. _I thought.

"No, that's just someone who looks like me." I knew I sounded incredibly unconvincing.

"That's someone who looks like your boyfriend." Angie said, pointing to the screen.

Ever since the Doctor met the kids once when he popped round to pick me up, Angie had automatically presumed he was my boyfriend. Stupidly, I hadn't denied it. I thought it was an easier way of explaining why a weird man was constantly coming round the house and taking me on dates. Wait, were they dates? No, definitely not dates. Outings. And if it was different circumstances I would not have let the kids believe that he was my boyfriend. I don't like the Doctor in that way, Remember? I'm not falling in love with him.

"Is he an alien?" Artie asked. I put a finger to my lip nervously, trying to think up a good excuse for these photos.

"Why would he be an alien?" Angie queried.

"Chin." He replied.

I'd grinned. _Ha, chin boy._

"And the time travel?" Angie asked, clicking on an unfamiliar looking picture of me.

I'd leaned forward and examined it. _What? That can't be me. I've never posed for that photo or been there. _"That's not right."

"You're in Victorian London." Angie commented.

"No, I was in Victorian Yorkshire!" I blurted out before I could register what I was saying. _Damn damn damn._ I could feel the smirks emerging on the faces of the children behind me. I'd just admitted it. _Nice one Clara._

"How come you didn't tell us?" Angie said.

"Time Travel! That's so cool!" Artie exclaimed.

"Can we have a go!?" Angie begged.

"Can we have a what?" I turned towards her helplessly.

Artie turned me towards him. "We want a shot at the time machine!"

I turned back to Angie. "No no no no! Listen-"

"Okay…" Angie interrupted. I could tell she was about to blackmail me. "Or, we'll have to tell Dad that our nanny's a time traveller."

I looked between them. _Oh no, if George found out, god knows what trouble that could cause._

"Fine." I sighed, giving in. "But I'll have to check with the Doctor first…I can't promise anything."

"Yes!" They both hissed together before sharing a high five.

I got up from the table to head to my room. "But you'll have to finish all your homework before hand. Otherwise there'll be no time travelling for anybody!"

With that they ran into the living room to find there school books and I walked up the stairs. I'd really not been expecting to come home to that. I needed a lie down.

-x-

"Pick up, pick up, pick up!" I muttered into my phone as I paced up and down my bedroom later that evening.

The phone was ringing but The Doctor was being slow picking up the call.

Suddenly I heard a voice from the other end. "Clara! Clara, what's wrong? Is everything okay?"

He sounded incredibly out of breath. "Are you okay Doctor? You sound like you're dying over there."

"Well actually, I just ran to the console to pick up the phone from the top floor of the library, so yes, I am a little out of breath. What is it? What's wrong?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong mister! There are pictures of us all over the internet!"

"What?"

"Photos of us…with Alec and Emma…and in that Soviet Submarine. Angie and Artie found them and now they know that we're time travellers!"

"Oh."

"Oh!? Doctor! You've got to make sure none of these photos get leaked again! Otherwise I'm going to start turning up in the kid's history textbooks! Imagine them explaining that to all of their friends!"

"Ah…I see. Sorry Clara, I'll make sure it never happens again."

"And there's something else."

"What?" The Doctor asked, his breaths were now returning to a steadier pace.

"Can you come over tomorrow? I kind of promised Angie and Artie that we would take them on a trip."

"What?! No no no Clara! No little'uns on board. Definitely not!"

"Doctor! This is all your fault in the first place. They told me if I don't take them for a ride in the TARDIS they would tell their Dad that we're time travellers! You don't realise what sort of trouble that could cause!"

I sighed and fell down onto my bed. "Please Doctor?"

I heard him sigh from the other end of the line. "Oh alright. Fine, but no funny business. One trip only. Oh…actually...I've just thought of the most brilliant place to take them! I know a great theme park called Hedgewick's World of Wonders…the kids will love it!"

I grinned to myself. "Sounds great. Thanks for this."

"No problem. See you first thing tomorrow!"

"Night Doctor."

"Sleep well, Clara."

I ended the call and lay on my bed, thoughts of the Doctor whirling round my mind. I'd found that as time went on the more I couldn't stop thinking about him. Everything I did I thought of the Doctor. Previous conversations, things we'd done, or just him. The way he always tries his hardest to make me happy or to make sure I'm okay. The way he teases me and gives a flash of his amazing smile using that big chin. The way he makes me laugh so hard and brightens me up at the hardest of times. The way he never stops amazing me every single day.

I started off as his world but now he's become mine. I tried really really hard, but I knew what was happening. I was falling head over heels in love. And it hurt, because I knew that no matter how protective he was, this time he wouldn't be there to break my fall.

* * *

*A/N: I spent all evening writing this as I know I haven't updated for over a week due to how busy I've been lately! I've decided I'm going to try and get another chapter on for tomorrow/tuesday to say sorry for the long wait! probably 2 or 3 more chapters to go on this fic as I don't want it to get too long and boring!

**Tell me what you like and don't like about this fic in the review!**

thanks for reading x*****


	4. Chapter 4

**The Trick To Not Falling In Love**

**Chapter 4**

_"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."_

The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.

* * *

It was stupid of me really. I should have known that an alien planet, plus the Doctor and two kids was going to end us in a heap of trouble. The Doctor at this point, was currently playing a chess match against a cyber-thingy inside his head, whilst I was trying to stop the military from blowing up the planet. Oh, and the kids were in a walking coma. Brilliant.

When we'd arrived it turned out it was the wrong time period and the theme park had closed down. This meant that we could only take the kids on one ride which a little man called Porridge had kindly set up for us.

After the ride, we were about to go home when the Doctor said he saw funny insects and wanted to stay a bit longer to investigate. So we sent the kids to sleep in the museum whilst I went and talked to Porridge and the Doctor went running around looking for metal bugs.

But Angie being Angie went for a walk about when the Doctor and I specifically told her not too. This resulted in her being caught by a Cyberman that appeared out of nowhere and leaving Artie alone so he got caught by one too.

The Doctor then went to go and find them, but ended up getting this Mr Clever Cyberman in his head. He then decided to have a chess match to see who could win his entire brain. We had to escape from the Cybermen that were coming so locked ourselves in an old comical castle whilst the Doctor played himself at chess to save our lives…and the odds were not looking good.

This meant I was now in charge of the whole military platoon that occupied the planet with absolutely no idea what I was doing. On top of this, the 2 children which my job is to look after were unconscious being controlled my cyberbrains. Could this day get any worse? For me, it was about to.

-x-

I was given the planet destroying bomb trigger thingy to look after, as I was in charge. The Doctor had given me one instruction 'Don't let them blow up the planet.' And so far, it was going surprisingly well.

I was outside having some soup with Porridge when I heard the Doctor call for me from inside of the castle. "Oi, Clara!"

I sighed. "I'll see what he wants. Call me if there's any change."

I'd walked back into the castle to see the Doctor leaning over his chess board grinning. "Hey Clara! There you are! Now, quick rundown. What's our weapon strength?"

I walked over to the children and waved my hand in front of their eyes at any chance to wake them up. If the Doctor couldn't fix this, I didn't know what I'd do. The children are George's world. If they died, it would be all my fault. I couldn't live with that.

"One big gun, five of those hand pulsar units and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet." I replied, walking up to the table he was sitting at.

"Yeah…yeah that one. Now, tell me. Does it happen possibly to have sort of a remote triggery thing?"

I lifted it out of my pocket to show him carelessly.

"Brilliant, pass it here." He said, trying to grab it out of my hand.

Suddenly instinct told me giving it to him was a bad idea so I'd pulled it away. "No!"

"Why not?" The Doctor grumbled.

"In case you're not you right now. Or even if you are, just in case."

"Oh, don't worry…The cyber planner is hibernating in between moves right now." He held his finger to his mouth. "Shh!"

I glanced around the room suspiciously before leaning forwards onto the table so I could look him directly in the eyes. Even with a cyber-wotsit in his head he still had the most striking eyes. _No, Clara, don't think like that. Use the trick. _

"Prove you're you. Tell me something only the Doctor knows." To be honest, I wasn't sure what I'd expected his answer to be. I looked into his eyes challengingly. If this was the cyber planner, I really had got him stuck.

He took a deep breath and paused. _Ha._ I thought, raising my eyebrows at him. _He doesn't know what to say. He's stuck, this must be…_

"Clara." He began, his voice turning soft. "I suppose…I'm the only one who knows…how I feel about you right now."

My eyes widened slightly and butterflies fluttered in my stomach. _What? Feel about me how? Is The Doctor going to say what I think he's going to say? No Clara. Don't be stupid. He'd never think about you like that…_

"How funny you are. So funny."

Our faces were getting close now. My eyes were locked on his and all I could think about were the words coming out of him mouth.

"How pretty." My heart skipped a beat and a smile spread across my lips. _He thinks I pretty? The Doctor thinks plain old me is pretty? _I'd gazed at him like an idiot in love. _Is he about to tell me he has feelings for me!?_

"And…the truth is…I'm starting to like you in a way that is more than just…" He closed his eyes and moved his face closer to mine, pouting his lips. _Oh my stars, he's about to kiss me._ My heart started racing. _He feels the same way? _

But it was then reality kicked its way back into my stupid head. _This isn't really him, Clara. He'd never admit his feelings like this, not in a million years._

Feeling slightly embarrassed by the fact the cyber planner had made me feel so giddy, I pulled away and used my free hand to slap him across the face…for the second time that day.

"Ow!" The Doctor exclaimed, snapping back into position. "Ow! Ow! Yes! Ah, it's me!"

I'd given him a confident smile and nodded.

"That really hurt. How did you know that was him?!"

I leaned closer again to study his expression. "Because even if that was true…which it's obviously…not. I know you well enough to know you would rather die than say it, finish your stupid game-"

I went to point the trigger at him mockingly, but the cyber planner snapped back and grabbed my wrist harshly.

"Ah, ow. Doctor, let go." I grimaced. He was gripping so tight I could feel pain surging all the way up my arm.

"I can't!" The Doctor said helplessly. "He's got control of the left arm!"

"Ah! Argh! Arghh!" He yelled. The Doctor's strength became too much pain to handle and I stupidly let the trigger go, letting him crush it to dust.

I stepped back and looked at him worriedly. "Doctor?"

"Nah, he got what he wanted. With the trigger. He destroyed the trigger…my move."

"What do you mean he got what he wanted?" I began to step back as the Doctor lifted his head, suddenly with an evil glare in his eyes. This definitely wasn't the Doctor. "He means good news, boys and girls. **They're here!"**

I'd then ran out the room, partly in fear and partly because I felt like an idiot. I'd let the cyber planner completely manipulate my emotions. He'd stabbed me in the heart and enjoyed every second of it.

-x-

He'd done it. Well, the Doctor always manages to win in the end. We were sat in Porridge's spaceship in orbit, watching as the planet exploded into a million pieces. The Doctor had defeated the cyber planner and safely gotten back both of the children. I couldn't be more thankful. Well…he couldn't have done it without help from Porridge. The lonely emperor. I guess he'd been the hero here too.

As the planet disintegrated before us. Porridge told us about why he hid from the authorities.

"That's what happens when you're emperor. Loneliest job in the universe." Porridge sighed.

I looked up at him from where I was sat further down the steps of a podium to where he was standing at the top. "You don't have to be lonely."

The Doctor smiled at me.

"I don't." Porridge agreed. He turned towards me and knelt down on his knee. "Clara, will you marry me?"

"What?" I asked, utterly, completely, stunned. _Had I just received a marriage proposal from an emperor of a thousand galaxies?_

"He said-" Artie began.

"She heard what he said." Angie interrupted.

"You're smart and beautiful." I felt my heart warm a little. _He thinks I'm beautiful? _"And I've never met anyone like you before. And being emperor won't be as hard if you're by my side. And you'd rule a thousand galaxies."

I'd stared at him with my mouth open a little. I had no idea what to say.

The Doctor quickly skipped over to where Porridge was sitting to butt in as usual. "This sounds like an actual marriage proposal…tricky. Now if you want my advice-"

"You, not one word." I interrupted. "This is between me and the…emperor." The Doctor backed away acting as if he wasn't bothered, leaving me to talk to Porridge.

"Porridge…" I sighed. Even though this had been a lovely proposal from what seemed to be the king of the universe…there was no way I could have accepted. I couldn't accept because I wasn't in love with Porridge, nor would I ever be. So I let him down in the gentlest way I thought possible. "I don't want to rule a thousand galaxies…"

I felt guilty as he looked down at his lap disappointed. "Yeah…silly of me."

"I'm really sorry."

"But that's stupid!" Angie exclaimed from beside me. "You could be queen of the universe! How can you say no to that? When someone asks you if you want to be queen of the universe you say yes!"

I'd raised my eyebrows at her. This was typical Angie.

"You watch. One day, I'll be queen of the universe."

We all chuckled and Porridge made a joke about executing us before we made our way back to the TARDIS. I'd said goodbye to Porridge with a salute before following the Doctor and the kids.

You see, I didn't care about not being queen of the universe. Not one bit. I'd give up everything to stay with the Doctor in his mad blue box…because he's the universe to me.

-x-

"Thanks Clara." Artie called as he and Angie bounded out of the TARDIS. "Thanks Clara's boyfriend."

I walked over to the Doctor who was leant against the side of the console facing the TARDIS' doors. I'd half expected him to freak out at being called my boyfriend, but to my surprise he just smiled and went along with it.

"Thank you Doctor." I said once both the kids had left.

"For what?"

"Kids day out, getting us off the planet alive, whatever you were doing with the cybermen…"

I looked up at him and beamed and we spent a moment looking into each other's eyes. The Doctor looked cute when he smiled like that, eyes glittering with wonder. I would have done anything to have stayed there with him, but nannying duties called.

After a long but pleasant pause I finally said "Goodnight." Before walking to the TARDIS doors myself. "See you next Wednesday!" We'd agreed on a week's time for our next trip, as with various things going on with the kids they had already booked up the next 7 days.

"Well a…a Wednesday. Definiately. Next Wednesday, last Wednesday…" He rambled humorously.

I smiled at him one last time before shutting the door on him and then walking into the house. I entered to see that Angie had already occupied all her attention to her new mobile phone and Artie had already begun playing on his xbox.

"Come on guys, time for bed!" I ordered.

"But it's the last week of the Easter holidays!" Angie moaned. "Dad always lets us stay up later during the holidays."

I sighed. "Go on, you can stay up in your rooms. But I'm tired. I want to go to bed!"

An hour later after finally getting the children into their bedrooms, I got into my own bed and let my head fall onto the pillow. My mind danced around all the memories I'd gained that day. Shooting a Cyberman, leading a military platoon, getting proposed to by an emperor of a thousand galaxies. That was quite a lot think about.

But the one memory that seemed most prominent in the front of my mind, was the one that pulled my heart strings and frustrated me deeply. The cyber planner telling me I was funny, I was pretty, that the Doctor had feelings for me. I knew I was thoughtless, momentarily falling for his lies. But the reason I did, was because I had so badly wanted them to be true. I was hoping and hoping that it was really him, that he was admitting to me how he really felt. But of course, it was just the cyber planner telling me what he knew I wanted to hear.

The emperor had called me 'Smart and beautiful', but that meant nothing compared to anything that could leave the Doctor's mouth. And why was this?

I'd tossed and turned in my bed, angry with myself. _Use the trick, Clara._ I thought. _Don't fall in love._ But as I lay there, I knew it was just too late. You can only use a trick so many times before the magic wears off and that was just what had happened to me.

When I was stood listening to Mr Clever I realised that I had fallen in love. I'd spent so long trying to stop myself but it had been no use in the end. It was him with his silly chin, his flailing limbs and his snog box. Mad, totally mad. But brilliant and perfect and…maybe a little bit handsome too. How could I not fall in love with a man like that? It would be impossible.

Now all that I could do to make sure I didn't ruin our friendship was to hide away those feelings and never let them show. _I'm his friend, his companion and it would kill me to lose that. He'd never think about me in any other way. If he found out how I felt it would destroy our relationship forever_.

My Mum once told me that falling in love is a bit like making a soufflé. With the precise ingredients, the perfect chemistry, lots of care and the right amount of time to cook you can make something beautiful. But if one of these falters and it all goes wrong, don't waste your time trying to saviour a rotten soufflé. The soufflé isn't the soufflé. The soufflé is the recipe.

* * *

*A/N:_** More reviews would be great**_! Had some time on my hands this evening so quickly wrote up another chapter for you guys. 2 more chapters to go on this fic, already thought up an idea for my next fic too :)

any comments leave in the review box, follows and favourites greatly appreciated. thanks for reading :) x*


	5. Chapter 5

**The Trick To Not Falling In Love**

**Chapter 5**

_"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."_

The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.

* * *

My eyes fluttered open. My vision was hazy.

"Angie?"

My eyes darted fully open and I sprung up to the sound of the Doctor's voice.

"Artie?"

I'd almost forgotten, it was Wednesday.

"Am I getting warm?"

I sat still on the floor for a minute, trying to reap what I had just witnessed. _What's the Doctor's secret? Is Jenny dead? And who's Professor River Song?_

"Am I getting warm?!"

I got up from the floor slowly and began to walk down the staircase. I could hear the Doctor's voice shouting from the bottom. I was mostly in shock after that meeting. All I knew was that I had to tell the Doctor. I had to make sure Jenny, Vastra and Strax were safe.

"Am I getting warm? Look, I'm pretty sure you have to tell me if I'm getting warm. I'm…I'm…I'm…I'm pretty sure that's in the rules."

I ran down the last part of the stairs to see him stood in the middle of the floor with a blindfold around his head.

"Doctor?"

"Ha! Clara! How are you? Don't worry, everything is under control."

"What are you doing?" I sighed, although I suddenly guessed what had happened. The Doctor can be so naive and Angie can be very manipulative. She and Artie had wanted to go to the cinema earlier. I'd said; "No, not until you've finished your homework." I had a feeling not much homework had been done.

"Oh! Um, Mr Maitland went next door so…I said I'd look after the kids. They'd wanted to go to the cinema but I said no. I said no, not until you wake up. I was very firm!"

"At which point they suggested blind man's buff?"

"Yes! Where are they?"

I stepped down to the foyer and undid his blindfold for him, trying not to look into his eyes as the piece of fabric revealed _them. _"At the cinema."

_ You have to act like everything's normal, Clara. You have to stop yourself from falling even further in love._

"The little…daleks!" The Doctor muttered, glimpsing around the room.

I glanced back at him, worry building inside me. I needed to tell him about the conference call. I needed to tell him about everything that happened.

He guessed something was up and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Come into the living room and sit down. I'll put the kettle on." I said, moving towards the kitchen.

However, the Doctor reached out and grabbed my arm to turn me back around to face him. As usual my heart skipped a beat. "Clara, tell me, what's wrong?" His face became more serious. I knew the Doctor could tell just how worried I was.

"I…" I shook him off lightly and let him follow me into the kitchen as I started searching for some teabags. "I was in a dreamy-conference call thing with Vastra, Jenny, Strax and Professor…River Song."

The Doctor swallowed before nodding. I could feel him watching me as I began boiling the water.

"We were talking about a secret of yours that has been discovered. It sounded very important by what Vastra was saying."

"I have a lot of secrets."

"Yes, but this was different. They were talking about a place called Trenzalore."

-x-

I poured the freshly made tea into mugs at the dining table whilst watching the Doctor out of the corner of my eye. He was sat on the sofa staring into nothingness looking incredibly anxious.

"So who was she? The lady with the funny name and the space hair?" I asked out of curiosity.

"An old…friend of mine."

"What, like an ex?" I'd meant it as a bit of a joke. I couldn't ever imagine the Doctor with someone like her. Actually, I couldn't really imagine the Doctor with anyone.

"Yes, an ex."

I froze. _She was an ex? The Doctor had been with a woman like that? That's the Doctor's type? _I suddenly felt jealousy surge through me which I couldn't seem to get rid of. Thinking of the Doctor with anyone made me feel slightly sad and envious. I hated this feeling more than anything.

"River asked Vastra for the exact words. What were they?" He questioned.

I took a deep breath, turned around with the tray carrying the tea and walked towards the sofa. "The Doctor has a secret he will take to the grave. It is discov-"

I stopped when I was standing in front of him and could see his face. The Doctor's amazing, brilliant, handsome face. I couldn't say anything out of shock. No words could reach my lips for a second...I'd never seen the Doctor like this before. He was…crying.

Painful sniffles altered his breathing and tears were beginning to emerge in his eyes. He looked down at the floor unable to make eye contact with me. My heart felt like it had shattered. This man I loved and cared about was sitting distressed in front of me. It looked like his heart was shattering too, but for a completely different reason.

"Doctor?" I said with great concern.

"Sorry." He whispered, placing his hand half over his mouth. The Doctor looked so innocent and so scared. All I wanted was to see him smile again. "And it was Trenzalore? It was definitely Trenzalore?"

"Yeah."

He put his head in his hand and let another sob leave his chest. I couldn't watch him like this; it made me ache with emotion seeing him so upset. It was killing me. All I wanted to do was throw my arms around him and let him cry onto my shoulder. I wanted to comfort him and make sure he was okay. But I couldn't.

Firstly, because I was stunned. Secondly, because I was still carrying the tray of tea, and thirdly because I was scared of how he'd react. I knew the Doctor had grown used to our little interactions but in this scenario I wasn't sure if he'd want me to try and ease his pain. So, I just watched. And I regretted it.

After a moment the Doctor shook himself and sniffed away the remaining tears. "Sorry!" He exclaimed before running out of the living room in what appeared to be embarrassment.

I stood still in complete surprise for a moment before hearing the front door bang shut. I placed the tray down on the coffee table and ran to the TARDIS after him. _Why had he been crying?_

There was one thing I knew for sure. I never wanted to see the Doctor cry again.

-x-

And yet I did…and this time, it did kill me. Like my heart it tore me into millions of pieces.

He was being re-written. All his victories, friendships, the best moments of his life. All vanishing in the blink of an eye. We were in his grave at Trenzalore and The Great Intelligence had stepped into his timestream, destroying his entire life.

The Doctor began to scream and thrash about in my arms, crying out in agony. Tears streamed down my cheeks. He was experiencing so much hurt and I knew that he was dying. I was watching the man I love die and it was crushing me. I wept because I couldn't bare it. I couldn't live without him. I love him so, so much and he was fading away from the universe. He was fading away from me.

His timestream turned red, signalling the Great Intelligence's success.

"Dear Goddess." Vastra said to Jenny. The 3 of them were standing on the other side of the room, watching fearfully.

"What's wrong?" She replied.

"The universe without the Doctor. There will be consequences. Jenny, with me."

Vastra, Jenny and Strax went outside leaving me and the Doctor alone in the tomb, or so I had thought.

"The Dalek Asylum…" I began. Ever since we'd entered the tomb…memories were reawakening for me. I was remembering a day. A day that never happened, yet definitely did. The day I woke up exhausted, the day I had the strange sore hand, the day the Doctor was waiting outside my room. The day with two days packed into one. I remembered a conversation. He said he'd met me before…and now I knew how. "You said it was me that saved you. How? Victorian London, how? How could I have been in Victorian London?"

The Doctor coughed in pain and looked into my eyes. Those eyes. That man. That man I adored but would never admit it to anyone. Of course, he knew. He knew what I was thinking of doing. "No. Please, stop, my whole life…my whole life is burning."

I looked into the whirl of shining light. The beautiful light that is the Doctor's entire life. "I have to go in there."

"Please. Please, no." The Doctor whispered.

"But this is what I've already done. You've already seen me do it. I'm the impossible girl…and this is why."

In those moments, I didn't care if I died. I didn't care if this ruined me. If it could save him, I would do anything. Absolutely anything at all. Life wouldn't be worth living without the Doctor. At least this way I could die saving him. I could die saving the man I love. The man I've fallen for so hard, after trying so long to stop myself. After all the tricks, all the '_Don't fall in lo_ve's, nothing had worked. Nothing could've stopped me falling in love.

"Whatever you're thinking of doing, don't." I heard River's now familiar voice to the left of me, watching as I comforted the Doctor.

"If I step in there, what happens?" I'd asked.

"The time wounds will tear you into a million pieces. A million versions of you…living and dying all over time and space. Like…echos."

"But the echos could save the Doctor, right?"

"But they won't be you. The real you will die. They'll just be copies."

"But they'll be real enough to save him." I smiled and shrugged. I'd already made up my mind. This was what I was going to do. "It's like my Mum said. The soufflé isn't the soufflé. The soufflé is the recipe."

If there was ever a soufflé to saviour, this was the one.

I leant over to where he lay in front of me, his eyes closed tight and his mind at war with itself. Yet he looked so…peaceful. I cupped his face with my hand and stroked his cheek. _If his dead wife hadn't been there…I probably would have kissed hi_m. "It's the only way to save him, isn't it?"

I watched River nod sadly.

Suddenly Vastra ran into the room looking utterly distraught. "The stars are going out…and Jenny and Strax are dead. There must be something we can do!"

I stood up preparing myself. I was going to save the Doctor, hopefully Jenny , Strax and the rest of the universe too. If this saved so many lives, who cares if it killed boring little me? "Well how about that? I'm souffle girl after all."

"No…please…" I heard the Doctor plead with his dying breaths.

"If this works, get out of here as fast as you can. And…" I tried to lighten the mood. "Spare me a thought now and then."

"No…Clara…"

I made my way towards his timestream, panting nervously. This was it, this was the end. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

"In fact, you know what?" I turned to look back at him one last time. "Run. Run you clever boy and remember me."

I ran into my death, my last thoughts being; _I love you._

-x-

_I don't know where I am. I just know I'm running. Sometimes it's like I've lived a thousand lives in a thousand places. I'm born, I live, I die. And always, there's the Doctor. Always I'm running to save the Doctor again and again and again. And he hardly ever hears me, but I've always been there. Right from the very beginning. Right from the day he started running. _

_I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm going or where I've been. I was born to save the Doctor, but the Doctor is safe now. I'm the impossible girl…and my story is done. _

Pain, like I'd never felt it before. Pounding in my head and though every single inch of my body. I fell and I landed hard. I'd gasped at the shock of it, tugging in breaths from the air around me like a lifeline.

Banging. I sat up and looked around fretfully. My breaths echoed the place where I was, but all I could see was smoke and rocks and graves.

"Doctor?" It was like I could feel him all around me, yet I was scared, alone and lost.

"Doctor!" I yelled as loud as I could this time, I just wanted to know if he was there.

Nothing replied but my echo.

I hadn't realised I was crying before, but more tears fell down my already tearstained cheeks. I'd never been so frightened. I'd never wanted to see him so much.

"Please! Please, I don't know where I am!" I leant forwards letting my forehead fall against the misty ground. I cried harder, not only because I was afraid and alone, but because I'd never felt such a hole in my heart then I did in that moment. I felt like I was broken, a puzzle piece had been torn from its place.

"Clara." At first I thought I'd imagined it. The Doctor's voice. He was there. I wasn't alone.

My lungs took a sharp intake of breath and I jumped up from my position, slowly sitting upright.

"You can hear me, I know you can."

I scanned my surroundings. "I can't see you."

"I'm everywhere, you're inside my timestream. Everything around you is me."

All of a sudden, I saw him. Not my Doctor, one of the first. One of the eleven I'd saved so many times. But it was still the Doctor. It was still him. The figure ran past me quickly and I beamed. "I can see you."

More of them darted past in different directions. "All your different faces, they're here."

"Those are my ghosts. My past. Every good day, every bad day."

"Agh!" I heard a shout that sounded like the Doctor and spun round. There was a flash of light, the sound of thunder and the ground rumbled causing me to hit the floor harshly.

I pushed myself back up in desperation. "What's wrong? What's happening?"

"I'm inside my own timestream. It's collapsing in on itself."

_What is he doing? He's going to kill himself! _"Well get out then!"

"Not until I've got you."

_He came for me._ I fell back to the ground, unable to contain the tears. I was so confused, so disorientated. "I don't even know who I am."

"You're my impossible girl. I'm sending you something. Not from my past, from yours. Look up, look."

I did as the Doctor instructed and looked into the fog above me. A leaf fell. But it wasn't just any leaf. It was my parents leaf, the leaf that brought them together. The one I sacrificed at the Rings of Akhaten, it was falling towards me.

"This is you, Clara. Everything you were or will be. Take it." I reached out and grabbed it, feeling the ruff, dry texture of it in my hand. "You blew into the world on this leaf. Hold tight, it will take you home."

_I don't know where I am. I don't know where I'm going or where I've been. All I know is that the Doctor is here. The Doctor is going to save me._

But there was no one, nothingness. I noticed as I walked one of my ankles was extremely swollen and painful to walk on. This caused me to limp and stumble. My head was still pounding. I was still lost.

"Clara! Clara! Come on!" The Doctor's voice came from behind me. It sounded more genuine then before so I turned around to see. "Come on, to me now. You can do it I know you can!"

It was him. My Doctor, from behind the mist. He was defying the possible, he was here to save me.

"How?" I asked, I was exhausted and I felt like my mind was burning.

"Because it's impossible and you're my impossible girl." I began to stagger towards him, still clinging onto the leaf with my hand. "How many times have you saved me, Clara? Just this once…just for the hell of it! Let _me_ save you!"

The Doctor outstretched his arms, waiting for me to fall into them. I was weak, but so close. I was almost there.

"You have to trust me Clara I'm real! Just one more step…"

I fell...and he caught me.

I threw my arms round his neck as tight as I could and dug my fingers into the back of his tweed coat. _He was actually, properly real_. It felt like it was so long ago since I saw him last, so long since I felt safe. But now I did.

The Doctor pulled me closer and we both cried. More and more tears on top of those that had already been shed that day. But these were different tears. These were tears of happiness, relief and…love.

"Clara, my Clara!" He sounded so happy, so thankful to find me alive...and I couldn't be more thrilled to see him again.

His arms were strong around me. I felt him put his hand behind my head to keep me close and the softness of his lips as he kissed the side of my face. The hole in my heart was instantly healed, the last piece of the puzzle finally in place.

_I love yo_u. The words were there but they weren't said, because they didn't need to be. _Actions speak louder than words… _and what we'd both done confirmed that. We both risked our life for the other; there is no action in the universe that can speak louder than that.

I don't remember much after that. I just remember words and weakness and drifting to sleep. But I didn't let him go. If one thing was for certain, I was never going to let him go again.

* * *

*A/N: Bit of a long chapter, sorry about that. This was my favourite chapter out of all of them, but it took me and eternity to write...so **_I would be really thankful if you left some reviews for this chapter!_**

There is one more chapter to go on this fic and it should be done by Friday, then this story will be complete :) thank you for all the support I've had whilst writing it, it means a lot.

Also, if you're looking for a long whouffle fic to read with a storyline, please check out the story on my fanfiction page 'the time travelling trio'. These 2 stories are completely unrelated, but just in case you wanted something else to read :)

If you've got anything you want to ask, leave a review, send me a PM or an ask on tumblr (Blog link on profile)

thanks for reading x*


	6. Chapter 6

**The Trick To Not Falling In Love**

**Chapter 6**

**(The Final Chapter)**

_"The trick is...don't fall in love. I did that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day."_

The story of how Clara Oswald had to use that trick to stop herself falling in love with the Doctor...and how it didn't quite go to plan.

* * *

I wasn't just sleeping. I was reliving, dying, falling, screaming and all at once.

I felt hot like I was burning up, my soul and my body, dissolving into millions of pieces. All I could think about is the Doctor. Every life, every person I was, running to save him.

_I never know who I am and I don't know where I am. All I know is that I have to save the Doctor. _Each life was a person, a copy of me. I was living millions of lives all in one go and I was shifting from one to the other constantly throughout my sleep.

Each one always ended the same, I died saving him. I'd get so close to living and each time I thought it would be different, maybe I wouldn't die. But I always did. The pain of that is worse than anything that can be described with words. It was torture, heart break and agony all rolled into one.

As I dreamt I became even more disorientated. I'd slip in and out of consciousness, but I'd never really be awake. I'd think I was one of my echoes and then I'd die. I'd suddenly become aware it wasn't real. It wasn't really me.

I'm not sure how long I was doing this, jumping between different lives, dying every time. I seemed to be in this tranced state forever and I couldn't seem to wake up. _I'm born, I live, I die._ Repeated and repeated and repeated until I couldn't bare it anymore. I just wanted to wake up and be the real me. I just wanted to see the Doctor.

And after what felt like a million lifetimes, which in theory it was, I finally woke up.

I was screaming. I couldn't open my eyes to start off with, but I still felt like I was burning. My skin boiled and was layered with sweat, so much so my clothes felt like a second skin. I panted and shook with fear, clawing my fingers in what felt like bed sheets wrapped around me. I tried to open my eyes but they were sore and couldn't adjust to the light that was seeping through.

At first I thought I was another echo. I didn't think I'd ever wake up again. I thought I was dying.

I suddenly felt someone pull me up into a sitting position and throw their arms around me. I struggled and cried, thinking I was being abducted. But then the sounds around me became more clear.

"Clara! Clara! Please, calm down. You're okay, Clara. You're safe, I promise. I'm here Clara, I've got you." The Doctor's comforting voice made me instantly relax into his arms. My eyes slowly opened to see his face leaning over mine. He was sat on the edge of the bed beside me and pulled me onto his lap. I fiercely wrapped my arms around his torso and buried my head into his chest. I tried to say something but I couldn't, so I just sat there and cried onto the front of his shirt.

"My Clara, my impossible girl." The Doctor whispered. He cradled me in his arms and used one hand to stroke my hair. He kissed the top of my head several times before pulling me closer. "I thought I'd lost you."

His voice croaked as if he was about to cry and I looked up at him to see that he already was. My heart melted. I reached out my hand to his cheek and wiped away the falling tears. A small smile grew on the Doctor's lips before he leant forward and placed his hand on my cheek, wiping away mine.

My chest ached with how much love I felt for him in that moment. The Doctor was here. The Doctor had saved me. I was alive. It suddenly occurred to me however, I had no idea what happened.

"What happened?" I managed to murmer. "How long have I been asleep?"

The Doctor pulled me to his chest again and I snuggled into his embrace. "I managed to get you out of my timestream, Clara." I could tell from his voice that he was trying to hold back tears so I took his hand in mine and let our fingers entwine. "But you wouldn't wake up. Strax and I tried everything, but you were stuck in this coma. You've been asleep here, in your room in the TARDIS, for 3 weeks."

My head shot up. "I've been asleep for 3 whole weeks!?" I couldn't believe it. I'd been reliving every single life I've ever lived, but now that I was out, and thinking straight, it felt like I'd only been asleep for a few hours.

"Every day and every night, you would shake and shout in your sleep. You'd call for me, you'd scream because you were dying…and I couldn't do anything about it. I'm so, so sorry Clara. I tried everything to wake you. I'm just so glad that you're okay. I thought you could've been stuck like that forever."

I held him close again and he held me tight. "It's fine. Is everything okay now though? Are you safe? Did the stars come back?"

The Doctor reached to cup my face again and looked into my eyes. _God, those eyes. So much sadness yet so much relief and still so brilliant. _"It is most definitely not fine. You almost died, Clara. You almost died and it was all my fault. Never, ever risk your life for me again, okay? Because I couldn't watch you give your life for me again. I wouldn't be able to live if I knew you died for me. I couldn't bare it. But yes. We are safe and the stars did come back. The whole universe has been restored and that's all down to you Clara. You're the most important being in the whole of creation and the saviour of the universe. You're my impossible girl, my hero, the only mystery that was worth solving. I could never thank you enough."

I placed my hand over his and guided it down to my lap so I could hold it again. I looked down to the floor. "I'm not important Doctor, you are. I'm just a boring girl from Lancashire, but you are the protector of worlds and the universe needed you. If jumping into your timestream saved so many lives, who cares if it killed little me?"

The Doctor shook his head and lifted my chin so I could look into his eyes again. "Clara, you must never think that. After eleven hundred years of my life, I've never met anyone who isn't important. Especially not you. I don't think you know who important you are to me Clara. You mean everything…"

Tears ran down my cheeks and he wiped them away again. I didn't really know how to respond, but then I felt the sharp sensation of burning inside my mind. "Will it ever stop? The burning inside my head?"

My headache was getting worse with every word. My eyelids felt heavy and sore and my whole head was pounding.

The Doctor kissed my forehead and began to rock me slightly in his lap. "One day."

I cried again onto his chest and he held me as close as before. He soothed me and told me I was safe, he would never let anything happen to me again. I was under his protection.

-x-

My eyes darted open, to see that I was lying on my bed in my room on the TARDIS still, with strong arms wrapped around me. I hadn't had any nightmares or recaps of various lives, just some relaxing well needed sleep. My headache was gone and the room had a lighter glow to it now than it did before. I presumed this meant it was now morning in my time.

It was then realisation hit me, that these where the Doctor's arms around me, and my head was lying on his chest. _I must have cried myself to sleep._ I thought, glancing up at him. I was very surprised to see that his eyes were closed and he was sleeping peacefully beside me. The Doctor had told me many times that 'Timelords almost never needed sleep' but maybe he just needed some rest like I did for a change. Maybe all this worrying had gotten just too much.

The feeling of being curled up to him felt really nice, so I let my head rest back on his chest so I could listen to the beating of both of his hearts. It was the most unbelievable yet reassuring sound.

The Doctor suddenly shifted slightly and I watched his eyes flutter as he reawakened. I thought he would want me to get off of him, but to my surprise he just kissed the top of my head and grinned. _He had been kissing me a lot since I woke. _I thought.

"Good morning sleepy head." I said, returning the smile.

"Good morning, Clara." He stretched before moving to sit up against the headboard, pulling me up to sit next to him. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and he put his arm around me again.

"How long was I asleep that time?" I asked curiously.

The Doctor pretended to check his watch. "Eight hours, fifty-seven minutes and three seconds."

I raised my eyebrows and chuckled. "That was the best sleep I've had in a while. You're not too bad as a pillow, chin boy."

The Doctor reached out and tucked stray strands of my hair behind my ears. "I couldn't leave you, I needed to make sure you were safe." His voice turned more serious and protective so I lifted my head to look him in the eye.

"I thought you said we were safe here, in the TARDIS?"

"We are...I meant, I needed to make sure you were safe from yourself. So if you had more bad dreams or called for me I was here to help you."

My smile softened. "You didn't have to stay here watching me for almost 9 hours."

"I've been here watching you for 3 weeks and 9 hours."

"You what?" I couldn't believe it. He'd been there with me for over 3 weeks? Watching me, looking after me, no way could he have possibly done that for 3 weeks...Then again, no wonder he'd been tired.

"I couldn't leave, I didn't know if you were okay and I needed to be here in case you woke up. I wanted to be here in case you needed me."

I gestured towards the armchair that was placed beside my bed. "So you're telling me, you've been sat in that chair, for 3 weeks, doing nothing but watch me?"

"Well, yes. I read a little bit too though. Before Vastra, Jenny and Strax left they brought me anything I needed in here so I didn't have to leave you."

I looked at him gobsmacked. The Doctor I know usually can't sit still for five minutes, let alone three weeks.

"Why?" I asked simply.

"I told you, Clara, I wanted to be here for yo-"

"No." I interrupted. "Why did you jump into your own timestream to save me? You could have killed yourself."

The Doctor sighed and put his other hand on my neck, making my heart race. "Because I wouldn't be able to live without you here, Clara. I'd miss how funny and bossy you are and how you always make me smile. I'd miss having you by my side and spending everyday with you. Watching you die wasn't an option."

"You wouldn't be able to live without me?"

"I've lost too many people, I couldn't lose you. You're my Clara, my impossible girl and I…"

"You?"

The Doctor stroked the side of my face. "Does it really need saying?"

I searched his face desperately. _Does he mean…no he can't…he doesn't see me like that…does he? Oh of course he does. Why would he have cuddled up with you in bed if he didn't? Why would he constantly kiss your head and watch you for 3 whole weeks? He's in love with you, Clara, like you're in love with him._

_"Because even if that was true…which it's obviously…not. I know you well enough to know you would rather die than say it." _I thought back to what I had told the Doctor on that day with the cybermen. _He would rather die than say it._

"Then show me."

The Doctor hesitated slightly before lifting his other hand to my other cheek gently. He slowly brought our faces closer together until our noses almost touched then closed his eyes. I let my lids fall as our mouths grew closer and then suddenly, his lips were on mine. The kiss was slow yet soft and tender. It was perfect. Before I knew it I was kissing him back fiercely, putting my hands on his shoulders and running them up to the back of his neck as he moved his down to my waist.

We finally stopped for breath and leant our foreheads against each other. He gave me another quick kiss then broke away with a huge grin on his face. "Wow."

I chuckled and leant back against the headboard, trying to register what have just happened. _The Doctor just snogged me...and I snogged him back._ "I know."

The Doctor wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a cuddle. "Does this mean…"

"I'm afraid it does." Friendship, officially ruined. But I don't think either of us cared about that, this was what we both wanted, it had just taken us lifetimes to realise it. "So, you like me then?" I began to tease.

The Doctor started playing with strands of my hair. "Of course I...like you. Have done for a long time. You're beautiful and clever and kind and...perfect. I kept telling myself that what I was feeling was wrong, but it feels so right. I want to be with you, Clara."

I looked into his eyes and beamed. I didn't think this could ever be possible, the Doctor feeling the same way about me. It felt like I was dreaming. As if I was going to wake up and this would have just been the fairytale ending.

"I want to be with you too. I never thought...you would...you know, see me that way. I had this trick, 'Don't fall in love', because I knew I was falling for you and that you wouldn't feel the same way. I didn't want to end up with a broken heart. However, I used that trick quite a lot, sometimes twice a day...and as time went on, the trick wore off and I started to fall in love anyway. You're brilliant and despite the chin, fairly handsome too. So, I guess you made it pretty hard for me you clever boy."

The Doctor just smiled silently and lifted my hand to his chest so I could feel the steady beats of both his hearts again. The words he said next were so simple, yet held so much meaning in them. They were the words I never thought I would here him speak and must have meant an awful lot to him to say them. That's what made them so special. So important. "I love you."

It was as if I felt the Doctor's hearts skip a beat as he spoke. My own heart fluttered also, and much to my surprise, a tear trickled down my cheek. _Happy crying. _"I love you too."

-x-

In the end, I suppose the trick to not falling in love didn't quite go to plan. I fell in love and he did also, the two of us in his snogbox, travelling together.

At first I thought it all went wrong...when I fell in love. But it turned out to be a good thing that I did. If I hadn't been in love I may not have had the courage to save him at Trenzalore. I may not have been strong enough to make it through.

So that's the end of my story, the story where I fell in love. And for the first time in a long time, it has a happy ending too.

Looks like running away with a madman in a box wasn't such a bad idea after all...

* * *

*A/N: So that's the end to this fanfic! I loved writing this one and it would be amazing if you guys could give me some reviews!

I wanted it to have a happy ending because...I'm not moffat.

haha, reviews and favourites are much appreciated :) Thankyou so much for reading this fic and I will definitely be writing more soon.

Please tell me what you thought of this story and any ideas for future fanfics.

It's been a pleasure writing.*


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